How Will I Go On?
by Erica Wattson
Summary: My one-shot interpretation of the July 13 quote of the day. Bella runs into Mike Newton and has an interesting conversation about marriage... Please R


**A/N. This is a short, one-shot piece that doesn't contain Edward at all (sorry)! It's based on what I thought of the July 13 Breaking Dawn Quote of the Day. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: _I do not own Twilight, nor it's awesome characters. All the credit there goes to Stephenie Meyer!_**

**And without further ado (and for lack of a better title)...**

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**How Will I Go On?**

With a sigh I opened the door of the Guardian, manila envelope in hand. With all the preparations for the wedding occupying my thoughts over the last two months, I had failed to attend to one small detail- formally resigning from my job at Newton Outfitters. It wasn't as if Mrs. Newton didn't know I wouldn't be working after I was married. Everyone already knew Edward and I were "going to Dartmouth" together for a few years, but somewhere in the mayhem centered around the big day, I miraculously remembered that a formal resignation might be called for. I even knew exactly what I was going to say, so I could get in, say what needed to be said and get out.

Clutching the envelope tightly in my hand I ascended the step to the porch of the store, nearly tripping as I failed to lift my left foot high enough to clear the platform. I might end up with a bruise, and then Alice would make me wear makeup on my leg. She seemed to be under the impression that for my wedding not I should be completely unbruised, but I should be made-up to be the prettiest person there. I would have tried to explain the impossibility of that idea in the presence of all those vampires- both male and female, but I knew Alice would none of that.

She was determined to make everything perfect for me. I was beyond the point of caring. I just wanted to be married- bound to Edward forever. But I had to admit, if I was going to have a public wedding- as opposed to Vegas- no one could make it more wonderful than Alice. True to her word, I had barely had to lift a finger, thanks to her my day was planning itself. That was a relief, as that day was in less than 48 hours, and here I was, still taking care of closing the minute aspects of my human life.

I had been acting on autopilot as I did my thinking, so I was already inside the store walking through the small aisles of outdoor cooking gear when my mind snapped back into my present activity. It was a Thursday, so Mrs. Newton should be working the register. However, when I turned the corner, Mike was sitting there, spinning back and forth on the stool behind the desk. He saw me before I could duck back into the shelves of stoves and mentally re-form how I was going to word this.

"Bella! I didn't think you were scheduled for today, but-" I cut him off.

"I'm not here to work Mike, I'm getting married in two days." I reminded him, smiling.

"Oh, right." He looked slightly crestfallen, sad, but not embarrassed. Of course he hadn't forgotten. "Is Edward with you here today?" He asked.

"No. He's at his last tux fitting." I lied. I knew I looked far too sad for just being separated from him for a fitting, but truthfully he was out hunting. He needed to make sure he was extra prepared for the wedding.. And the wedding night. There was a moment of silence, which Mike interrupted.

"Yeah. Well... So, what's up?" He asked, his usual, friendly smile back on his face.

"Well, I'm getting married in two days!" I said, smiling as I began to giggle. Mike joined in, and we both laughed, just like old friends. As annoying as Mike had been from time to time, I was going to miss him.

"I know that!" He exclaimed, still fighting off the laughter. "I meant, what brings you here today, if not work?"

"I brought this for your mom. It's my formal resignation." I lifted up the envelope to show him. Mike tried to take it from me to place it on the counter, but the tabby-thing was caught under my ring, pulling me forward with the envelope. Upon freeing my hand from the envelope, Mike let out a low whistle..

"That's some ring. I bet Cullen spent a ton on that one!"

"Actually, it was his mother's." I explained, solemnly. Mike frowned.

"That's convenient. So he didn't even have to spend anything on it." Mike practically sneered.

"Not on the ring, no. His family is spending way too much on the ceremony. And the car." I tried to justify the matter.

"I wasn't really talking about the money Bells," He paused "Why are you marrying him?" I felt like rolling my eyes. I knew what was coming, but I had heard this question far too much to pause in giving answer.

"I love him Mike. I'm just so sure about him." I explained, carefully controlling my voice to make my words full of meaning, though the answer itself had been worn out.

"There's no other reason- a _convenience_ perhaps?" He breathed in and smiled, his eyes right on mine. "Because if you're in trouble you gotta know Cullen isn't your only option. If you just needed to get married for _some reason_, I'd gladly marry you."

I had to catch my breath. This was a new one. Sure, people always suspected that I was only marrying Edward because I was pregnant or something- but had I been correct in the understanding that Micheal Newton had just proposed to me? I couldn't decide whether I should be appealed, calm, or just burst out laughing, so I just stood there like a deer with the shock of being caught in the headlights of a quickly approaching semi-truck.

"Mike--" I gasped. Truly I was struggling to get air into my lungs, I was so shocked.

"It's okay Bella. I'm here." He said, coming around the counter to wrap his arms around me, kissing my hair lightly. I was instantly irritated.

"Mike-" I repeated, pushing him away, "I am marring Edward, and not because I'm knocked up." Mike looked nearly as shocked as I had been at my words- yes I actually had used the term "knocked-up" in my speech.

"Then... Why? Why bother getting married?" He stuttered, his face truly clueless. I mentally sighed, _Oh Edward, I told you what people would think. _It was a good thing that Edward had so recently drilled me in the virtuous reasons to get married- and even better that I had actually began to believe in them myself.

"Why not Mike? We love each other. That's what people do when they're in love, isn't it? They get married."

"But, you're both, like eighteen. Why don't you just wait until you're older, or play the field a little more. I mean, you've only had like what? Two boyfriends? Maybe you don't know what you're missing?" He suggested, moving his body closer to mine. I was taken slightly aback by his mention of two boyfriends, knowing he meant both Jacob and my finance. I cringed.

"A hundred years ago people got married at eighteen all the time! The law says we can, and Edward and I both would like to be conventional- you know- get married _before_ we live together. Keep our virtue clean." I explained. Mike's puzzled expression turned to one of awe.

"You mean... You and Cullen haven't..." His words trailed off into nothing, so I finished the thought for him.

"No. All this time we haven't, and it's hard. But I think waiting is going to be worth it. Besides, the guilt would eat on Edward for eternity if we didn't wait to do certain things..." Now my own voice became silence as I realized the truth of my words, If I had gotten my way this spring, Edward really would have carried the guilt for eternity. I shuddered at the thought. Mike nodded, understanding, though perhaps not at the depth I had realized.

"I still wish you'd have given me a try. You've still got two days to decide you know! The Mike man is available! This is probably the last time you'll be getting an offer like this!" He was grinning, so I knew he was purposely lightening the conversation.

**"Oh, Mike! How will I go on?" **I said, laughing so hard until tears were pouring down my face almost as heavily as the rain that had started outside. Mike, also laughing, embraced me in a friendly squeeze of a hug, awkwardly wiping the tears from my eyes with the front of his shirt.

"Sorry." I apologized, backing away, the laughs fading away.

"Hey, it's cool." Mike encouraged. We stood there smiling, with much embarrassment for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say next. The awkwardness was interrupted by the ringing of the bell over the door, letting us know a customer had arrived. I took that as my cue to leave.

"Well, I gotta go. Alice probably needs me for something by now. Don't forget to pass that along to the boss!" I reminded, indicating to the manila envelope resting on the top of the register.

"I'll never forget it Bella Swan." He said, his voice full of double-meaning. "It's been awesome to be friends with you. I hope you and Mr. Cullen will be visiting good ol' Forks Washington next summer! I'd be glad to see you!"

"We'll see..." I smiled weakly, knowing full well that we most certainly would not be visiting Forks by next summer, nor would Mike be glad to see us if we did...

"And I'll see you at the wedding, though you probably will be so excited you won't remember that I was there." Mike replied. I smiled, knowing that his words may very well be true.

"Bye Mike Newton."

"Bye Bella Swan."

Offering one last smile I exited the store, taking in the fresh, muggy air of Forks. Stepping back into my shiny too-expensive car, I was certain of my path, I knew I needed Edward forever, and no one else could hold a candle in my heart to him. Still, I was going to miss this. And I was really going to miss Mike.

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**A/N: Hope you were entertained by that! Of course, reviews would be awesome! Thanks for reading!**


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